“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
Mark Twain

Many believe that a key to bring people with disabilities in the mainstream is to provide them vocational education and jobs. Of course its important and economic independence can really do wonders to bring a marginalized community to have a place in the sun. But its more important to bring a mindset change among those considered without disability. Its important to give everyone a chance to step into another’s shoes, and of course to understand their own limits, that will help them become open towards the other. Once we become more open toward anyone defined as the “other,” be it one practicing another faith, look different or perhaps with some physical disability, we will be a different society. Everyone would then realize their own vulnerabilities, understand that everyone has limits of some form or the other. And that the human spirit also has the unique ability to overcome those limits.

My mantra in the social space in the last few years, both as a consultant and an entrepreneur, is to question status quo- be it to see how for-profit commercial business can be agents of large scale change, or work with teams where geography is incidental or to challenge existing mores of scale and sustainability. My personal encounter with a diverse set of individuals in an intense Dialogue in the Dark workshop and subsequently with a visionary like Andreas Heinecke helped me shape my thinking, elevating the emotional experience I had with my blind trainers in a dark setting on a cognitive level. I learnt about myself, my physical and mental limits, and a completely new understanding of what it means to be without sight. I discovered that I could cope with the dark and my other senses took over. My encounter with people like Sabriye Tenberken of Kanthari, a unique social entrepreneurship school that helps marginalized youth to become agents of change reaffirmed the mindset change I had. The fact that Sabriye is blind or from a different country didn’t deter her from setting up a school for the blind in a harsh geography like Tibet or set up the school for entrepreneurship and her home in Kerala in India.

Sabriye is not a lone ranger. Many changemakers like her are making a huge difference to people that they work with and interact with. There is one thing common to all the stories we heard. It was about people with a passion and the courage to create an environment where people can have an open exchange. Each of these changemakers have translated the most important life skills including resilience, adaptability, empathy, humbleness, gratefulness, trust, compassion, collaboration, caring and sharing into action.

The more we all embrace this openness and understand the power of encounter, we will realize that “disability” is just a state of mind! And we all would grapple with it at some point or the other!

So maybe every year on Dec 3, we would learn to celebrate World “DIVERSITY” day instead of World Disability Day!

- Travelling to the same place can be a different experience- depending on who you are with and the circumstances of the journey. Teaches you that life is constantly changing. It makes me adaptable and lowers my expectations about people and their behavior. I guess that’s what makes me forgiving.
- Travelling helps one understand different cultures and appreciate that there are different ways to live and be. And it teaches me never to just accept status quo just because its “the way it’s always been done”.
- Travelling to destinations and the journeys to reach there makes one realize that miracles surround us every day. We just need to open our eyes to see them and rejoice in them. Makes me believe that I don’t need to go to a temple and pray five times a day or engage in complex rituals to find happiness. It makes me spiritual.
- Lying on a remote beach under the night sky, or gazing at high peaks in awe helps me put things in perspective on just how small I really am in the bigger scheme of things. Keeps me humble.
- Learning how to cook and eat foods that I have never tasted before makes me curious and hungry, in more ways than one!
- Lots of travel comes as a package with unexpected experiences. And reinforces in my the importance to trust my gut and instincts. It’s never let me down until now!
- Knowledge and experiences from travelling are powerful when shared. They are of limited value when they are trapped inside you. It reminds me always to be open and giving and share what I know. For it always comes back to me!
- The only place where life exists and the only time you are sure of having is NOW. Enjoying surreal moments while travelling makes me realize how important it is to live today and now. And teaches me to appreciate my friends and family for what they are to me today. And more importantly teaches me not to wait for life to be “perfect”. It never will be.
- Living like a nomad for the last two decades and still not losing my aspirations to create a professional niche for myself has made me innovative and make the most of what I have.
- And lastly, my crazy experiences make me realize how true what my mum always used to tell me when I was a little girl- that “Everything happens for a reason and it all works out in the end!” And this knowledge keeps me happy. Always.
Travel’s been my biggest teacher. And best friend. Funnily enough, my little fellow, who has inherited this love for travel from his grandfather and me chose to talk about his experiences in the camp he went to in the Himalayas when asked to comment on his views on sustainability!
Life is not about finding yourself, it is about “re-creating” yourself. And its all about memories. Travel, explore and go create them! Happy travelling!

Lal kudi maidan Khadi….See Red Eat Yellow
the expression on the cartoons says so much………priceless!

Utterly delicious!

Growing up, neither did I have the love for nor did I possess the Barbie who also turns 50 this year. But going by the frenzy that the to-die-for-figure Barbie whips up among all the little girls I know, I suppose it calls for an acknowledgement. In recent times, I have been emotionally blackmailed, lured and driven to indulge my little friends with every kind of Barbie- from the purple evening dress Barbie to the one who owns this ostentatious mansion to the one with more hair and hair accessories than the one on a human head!

Talking about the 50 years of the 1962 war immediately after Barbie seems trivial. But what I have learnt about this monumental event in Indian history has been anything but. A war that has gone down in history as India’s embarrassment has tales of valour and hope that inspire the soldiers who man that North East frontier terrain today as well as an entire generation whose psyche has been permanently etched with memories of a war lost but small human battles won. Living in that geography that witnessed the ill-fated Indo-Chinese strife 50 years ago helps me unearth and relive a past that teaches a new human lesson everyday.

As an adolescent, I was an introvert, sticking to the few friends I had, with more indoor hobbies than those that required me to venture out, was a conservative dresser and definitely not one to raise my voice in the event of anything that bothered my person.

And that night that remains vivid and etched permanently in my memory, it didn’t occur to me that I could turn back and slap that pervert who was feeling me and raise a cry or even wake up my parents and complain. I was just wanting the night to get over and for us to get off the bus so I could forget that such an incident ever happened to me. It was not the only groping, or involuntary sexual experience that happened with me. Like I am sure with a zillion other women around me. And I am sure a majority of those zillions have buried such unpleasant memories in the depth of their hearts.

I am a different person now. Life experiences have taught me to call out and make a big noise when needed. But I can relate to the hundreds and thousands of girls and women who remain quiet about their embarrassing encounters, assuming that somehow they are at fault. I am nearly 40 now and it took me 3 decades to even write about this incident publically. And even now, the first thought that crosses my head is “OMG, my dad might feel so bad when he reads this!”.

As I read this article, somehow I couldn’t help myself from sharing this article in Mint this morning, http://www.livemint.com/2012/07/17120248/Views–The-harsh-realities-of.html#comment. As I read this words “All these years later, I still feel afraid before speaking up. I worry about hurting my father by writing these words. The difference between then and now is that I know that I will reach out despite the fear. I am in charge of the world my parents and my children live in. And I am going to protect them”, I feel like these are from my head.

And I want to tell the world, I am not afraid. To speak up or fight. For myself or for anyone else.

And Dani isn’t the only blind or physically challenged traveler in the world who just wants to lead a full life in a dignified, complete manner, experiencing the beauty of the world and her people.

It pained me to no end to read this story the other day where a physically challenged person was offloaded a plane because she was considered a “security risk”. And surprised to see this issue being raised by a Spice Jet pilot, because I have been super impressed with their service to other physically challenged people who I have accompanied or seen off at the airport, totally satisfied with the level of assistance provided by their ground staff. Which makes me believe that is an instance of personal prejudice.

This isn’t new- many friends in the Dialogue in the Dark network often complain of being offloaded, made to wait for hours or de-planed minutes before take off because they are considered a “security risk”. And this isnt restricted to India alone. Friends in Shanghai, Hong Kong and Dubai have raised these complaints in recent times. In the era of these countries vying with each other to be medical tourism destinations, it seems rather silly to even discuss this issue.

The thing is its not a matter of choice or personal preferences that airlines have. IATA and its members have a resolution in place that lays out service standards for passengers with reduced mobility. The resolution specifies how airlines should communicate passenger special needs and what services should be provided on the ground and in flight. It requires that airlines have special equipment made available when necessary, calls for priority boarding to be offered and for airlines to ensure that passengers with special needs receive individual briefings on safety procedures, aircraft layouts and specialised equipment available on board. It also provides a general requirement for passengers with reduced mobility to be attended throughout the entirety of an airport transfer. The US goes a step further by actually passing a bill to ensure travelers with disabilities are allowed to lead their lives and explore the world without their handicap interfering.

Its time we give this issue the seriousness it deserves. The next time a blind or a mentally challenged or an infirm needing a wheel chair is denied his or her rightful place in a mode of transport - don’t be a mute spectator. A person feels as “disabled” as we, collectively as a society, will make them feel. As a friend told me sometime back- “I feel less blind in Sweden than I feel in Indonesia, only because I get the infrastructure and assistance to get about my life without being dependant on anyone”. It’s all a matter of perspective….and of opportunities. Lets be human, and lets make this beautiful world worthy enough to live and travel- for all.

When social meets business

Among the many inspiring chats I have had in the last few weeks, one would be surely meeting Ramin Khabirpour of Danone. He shared with me the vision Danone has for social business and how they are stitching the fabric of sustainability and social impact within Danone’s regular business. Even if one would pooh pooh much of what he said as superlative marketing, what with Prof Yunus spearheading the whole initiative, the way Danone has structured the Danone communities fund really caught my attention. In my mind, this is really an example of how business can truly contribute at a strategic level to creating large scale social impact. Just imagine if some of the world’s bigger businesses and HNIs were to come together to mentor such programmes around the world!

When social meets fun meets getting a sense of identity

Has it even happened to you that someone you meet over a casual coffee just completely blows your mind?! It happened to me a few weeks back when I met the irrepressible Mel Young at an EBS programme I was co-facilitating. Over dinner, he was this typical Scot with brilliant understated tongue-in-cheek humour. And then he told me what he does- “I run a football world cup for the homeless”, he said, casually. At first I thought I didn’t hear him well. And then the dots connected and I realized that when the power of unreasonable people is truly unleashed how magic happens. The Big Issue, a street paper that Mel started in Scotland has been described as one of the most successful street newspapers worldwide, selling nearly 300,000 copies a week and hailed as the world’s most circulated street paper. One of the main criteria for being a vendor for selling this paper is that they need to be homeless. Selling the paper gives them a legitimate income and gives them a chance to reintegrate back into society. The Big Issue Foundation supports vendors in gaining control of their lives by tackling the various issues which lead to homelessness. Mel told me proudly that one of his “homeless football stars” got selected by the Manchester United football league for an obscene amount of money recently. When I told my football crazy son about this he googled his out and told me that there are more countries participating in the homeless football due to happen this year in Mexico than the regular one! Go figure!